Escaping the Darkness
by Katillian Rose
Summary: A "join me in my tent" story with some thought behind it. Alistair's point of view. Join Alistair as he stares at his elf companion from across the fire as he considers his odds at surviving until the end of the blight. He knows what is most important to him now, but he doesn't know how to ask for it.
1. Chapter 1 - From Across the Fire

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Note: Chapter 2 in the process of being finished. "the steamy bit".

Start:

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The Warden sat, eyes bewitched by the flames which consumed the last branch of the evening. In her entranced state, she did not notice Alistair's own eyes glued to hers as he sat across the fire with a look of concentration and furrowed brow. His restless mind contented itself with resting on the subject of the woman – maker she was something, although this dreamy stupor she seemed to be in was not something he was accustomed to viewing. Never before could he scrutinize thoroughly the lines of her face without provoking a leer or, these days, a playful gleam from those mischievous eyes. Her face was softer than it looked when her mind was present. When aware of herself, she had perfect control over her muscles and movements- always aware of her surroundings, constantly choreographing future footsteps.

She seemed relaxed now – peaceful. He recalled that he only recognized this look from the few events which they slept next to each other around the campfire, the first time being on the evening following their introduction -

He remembered standing vigil next to her resting body, ready to wake her at any sign of disturbance on her face. The night after his own joining, he recalled, had been unbearable. He had been trapped within his nightmares with no one to rescue him from the paralysis of sleep, unable to draw breath enough to cry out as his mind conjured demons and pain… no. He could not have let her go through the same pain, and had been resolved to protect the small and determined woman as much as he could before the real adventure began. Although he had not known his love for her then, he had felt a duty towards her happiness. She had gone through so much, he knew, and though she had not yet shared her feelings of remorse and sorrow, he knew that there was pain behind those determined eyes during their first encounter - pain he could empathize with and understand all too well.

Now, by the fire, she was unmasked – raw. She looked smaller and more helpless than he had ever seen her. Even during her first nightmares, she had shown a fighting spirit against whatever had haunted her in her mind, thrashing angrily in her bed roll. Now she looked uncertain and woeful. Did she share the same dark thoughts as him, now that the end was drawing closer? Did she feel the same anger at the fact that she was a slave to duty, wasting her doomed-to-end-early life in this brutal way? Did she also feel guilty at wanting the burden to be on someone else? Of course she did. She, like him, was a Grey Warden, and together they were alone in this dark place. This realization resonated in him a clear and pure desire. In that moment he knew he never wanted to be apart from her. He wanted her to always feel as if she were meaningful and cherished by him- that her life is not wasted away for the good of something bigger than them both, but rather that it fulfilled something much more intimate. What more can two people achieve in life than pure and selfless love? How dare they feel worthless in the arms of one another? But no, she was not his yet. Not completely. He had paled away from the idea of trusting himself completely with her, ashamed at not being adequate enough for her experienced body. He felt disgusted with himself. How could she respect such a shy and giddy school boy? No. He was far less mature than he let on.

In the few seconds this epiphany dawned on him, he had lost sight of her eyes and did not know how long they had been staring intently at his own face. He met the gaze with the same determination exhibited and with confidence he rose and walked over to her. Silently, she stood and waited for him to speak.

"_I guess I really don't know how to ask you this_" he said quietly, unabashedly. He felt a tremor of anticipation as his mind grasped the implication of his boldness. Maker's breath, this was going to be it.

"_As me what_?" she replied softly, eyes still looked on his own. Surely she must know. He gulped as his nerves started betraying his thoughts and heart played a tattoo in his chest.

"_Ah. How do I say this_?" he began hurriedly. What happened to that chord of determination he felt before? He was so confident a moment ago, but now it was impossible to form any kind of coherent sentence. All he could think about was the forbidden act he was resolved to perform now that the Templar's veil had finally been overcome… and Maker he wanted it. "_You think it would be easier but, every time I'm around you I feel like my head's about to explode. I can't think straight_." He waited to see if she was going to quit her state of composed silence and perhaps rescue him from his inaptitude.

"_That's very sweet_" she said, calmly, taking his hand in her own, squeezing it gently. Although her voice conveyed no mockery, there was a sparkle in her eye that showed her amusement. He could only keep going, loving her all the more for letting him plunder through this.

"_Here's the thing_," he continued. "_Being near you… makes me crazy._" He recalled all the awkward moments it took to get him to this point – all the attempts at separating himself from his desire for her, thinking that it would distract him from his duty. "_But I can't imagine being without you. Not… ever_." He regained his confidence now, knowing that together they could never be defeated in spirit. He took a final breath and met her gaze. He truly cherished her and felt warmth spread throughout his body. "_I don't know how to say this in another way. I want to spend the night with you." _He had done it. "_Here. In the camp." _ Aha. He could breathe again, but a sudden of doubt washed over him as he saw no change in her gaze. He quickly gave both an out. _"Maybe this is too fast… I... don't know... but – I know what I feel." _

He watched her intently for a change of expression, to gage what sort of affect these words had on her. Damn her for being so good at controlling her expression. Only her eyes ever gave her away and in this moment the sparkle in them was intensified by the reflection of the glowing embers in the fire.

_"Even though I'm not human like you?" _she finally said, in the same quiet and confident voice she had adopted for this conversation. Alistair couldn't bear this response – after all they had been through together, she felt that this could be a barrier? His blood surged out of anger at his fellow men that created an air of superiority over their brothers in kin and this anger only intensified the desire within him to want to protect her forever.

"_Especially because of that" _he said as he drew her hand to his lips dutifully and brushed his lips against them.

She smiled a reply and her composure began to wane as she took this in. _"You want to spend the night. Are you sure?" _She perhaps was remembering all the awkward bits that happened before. But he was sure and he dove in to an explanation of the change that had happened.

"_I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place…but when will it be perfect? If things were, we wouldn't even have met. We sort of…stumbled into each other, and despite this being the least perfect time, I still found myself falling for you in between all the fighting and everything else. I really don't want to wait anymore. I've…I've never done this before. You know that. I want it to be with you…while we have the chance. In case…" _he cut himself off out of respect for both of them. He knew she could handle reality, but this was a time for them to forget about it for a moment. He drew breath and waited for her to reply. She did not protest against the impending doom he almost referred to, and there was understanding in her eyes along with a new gleam of longing.

_"Very well," _she said now truly smiling. "_If that is what you really want." _

_"I think so." _He said, kissing her fingers once more, drawing a quick breath from his beloved, "_I hope so." _


	2. Chapter 2 - The Steamy Bit

Burning with new confidence, Alistair lowered his head as tilted her petite chin upwards to meet her lips with his own. The gentle kiss was reminiscent of all the kisses before, but knowing that he could keep going made it more enjoyable. The wetness on her lips made him what to probe more in her mouth – want to feel the warmth inside. Normally he'd pull away at this stage, with internal chastisements of the Templar Sisters ringing in his head – but this time he heard nothing. He could only feel. He felt the softness of her lips as he bit and kissed them, opening his mouth he felt her hot breath intensifying the tension. She tasted smoky from the hours spent gazing into the fire, but also there was a sweetness on her lips. His hands were entangled in her hair, and when he pulled she gasped into his mouth. He probed with his tongue and felt her open her mouth willingly to grant him entrance. She was warm and responsive. She pushed back with her tongue as she leaned into his body, rocking in rhythm with the kiss. Her abdomen flexed as it rubbed against his breeches, and he stiffened at the contact. He was in vague disbelief that this was finally happening.

They continued exploring each other, increasing the speed and intensity of the cadence. Although his outer armor was removed already, he still had on his leather gear and what lay underneath. She however, was still in her full leather garb, and while its mid-thigh length skirt permitted him to caress her legs as far as he dared, he was more focused on getting beneath her breast plate to delve into his personal wonderland.

"Ahh – um… darling…" Alistair gasped as he drew back from the kiss – he was reluctant to stop._"_ Perhaps I could be wrong," he continued in the rascally manner he usually assumed when he felt slightly uncomfortable, "I am new at this after all. But I do believe that this…" and he took the liberty of running his hands down the sides of her leather garb, "will probably have to come off."

She glared at him, clearly flush from their kiss – her breasts rising and falling as she caught her breath. "Stop being an arse, Alistair." She said, shaking her head, "You had plenty of opportunity to take it off. Must I do everything for you still?" And with that she sat down on the make-shift bench by the fire and began to unlace her boots. He knew it was a dramatized huff that she exhibited, and yet he was slightly disappointed by her lack of ceremony. Then, with an atypical spell of intuition, Alistair knelt before her and gently removed her hands from their occupation. He held them firmly and pinned them to the log, by her side so she understood. He took one boot in hand, and looked up at her as he slowly loosened the laces on her leather boots.

"So sorry, my rose," Alistair said, only half-jokingly. "How thoughtless I have been." He pulled her foot free from its boot and stroked his fingers lightly up and down her leg. He met her eyes as she looked down at him, half grinning at his absurdity, and continued his game. This wasn't so hard, after all. Although his desire had been tamed a bit, he was enjoying this playful romance. He unsheathed her other foot and this time used his lips to lay small, soft kisses up her leg. Her smile vanished and a look of wanting filled her eyes. He breathed her in as her own breathing became more rapid. She smelled of leather and fresh lavender – her Elvin sweet mixture. He kissed up to her knee, inward towards the sensitive skin towards the back of her leg. He kissed up towards her thigh. By this point the desire had returned to him as well and he continued administering kisses all the way up her right leg while at the same time edging a caressing hand up the other. His hand squeezed her taught muscles as he inched his way up, under her skirt. He heard her gasp as he neared the top – he could wrap his hand almost all the way around. He could graze the lining of her small clothes with the tip of his thumb.

When he stole a glance up to her face, he saw her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip, making him want to kiss her once more. He rose up on his knees, hand still resting around the muscular but delicate apex of her thigh, and he wrenched her towards him, eliciting a squeal. She wrapped her legs around him, and he pushed up her skirt as he pulled her closer, allowing her warm center to press against his now straining erection. Alistair grunted and covered her mouth with his own, probing once more into its warm depths as she moved her pelvis up and down, and circled her hips to make him harder than he thought possible. Why did he wait so long for this? She moaned in his mouth, and arched her back as he started undoing the clasps of her leather garb behind her. The top came loose and he was free to pull it off her arms, revealing a white-cotton undershirt which clung significantly to the curves of her round breasts.

_"_Oh… Andraste's… breasts…." Alistair growled, and he didn't check himself as he took cupped them through the cotton garment. He couldn't explain this profane satisfaction elicited by the fullness he felt in his hands. He squeezed them gently, causing both he and his warden to moan, and he felt with his thumbs her nipples harden and protrude out. He had a sudden urge to kiss one, though he knew not the best way to bring that opportunity about, and while his hands continued their occupation of squeezing and thumbing her breasts, his mouth settled on nibbling at her neck, making her jolt and tighten her grip around his torso. She began to tug his own cotton shirt up. He stopped his attentions to her long enough to let her pull it over his head and watched her eyes as she stared at his bare chest, tracing her fingers along his toned muscles. He closed his eyes, relishing the prickling feeling induced by her light touch. He groaned when her hands lingered on the waistline of his breeches and she gently used her thumb to put pressure on either side of his groin. Maker she knew what she was doing.

He growled and pulled her own shirt over her head, revealing only her small clothes covering her breasts, and although she still had on her leather skirt he felt as if he could not handle to see any more. She looked better than his most involved fantasies. His body was already surging with as much adrenaline as it did when fighting against the darkspawn although he had the added element of lust pounding in his groin making him want to feel her on him. He hoisted her up around his hips and held her up with his arms as she grinded against his groin, slaking his need for friction. He turned around and sat where she once was, pulling her on top of us lap so that she straddled him. While she continued to move on and around his bulging groin, he became obsessed with the breasts which were so painfully close to his lips. He pushed forward so his warden had to bend back. He held her easily with one hand on her back as she leaned away from him. He used one hand to cup her left breast, and explored the other with his mouth. She tasted salty, but also sweet – he wanSo soft compared to her other muscular features. Felt so good in his hand when he gently gripped it in his palm. His mouth liked it more – he loved the softness he felt on his lips with every kiss. He loved the hardness of her nipple as he tentatively sucked, and he relished the gasping moan that he drew out from her as he lightly grazed her with the tip of his tongue.

"Alistair" she gasped, "I want you to touch me".

Alistair didn't know exactly what she meant, but she made it clear by grabbing his hand and guiding it town towards her small clothes. "I want to feel you inside". She pulled aside her small clothes and guided his hand so he could run it along the slick and gloriously foreign slit. He ran his middle finger in between the folds of her skin until he found a warm and extremely wet opening which he could easily press into. He grunted as his finger slid deep into her body and she gasped – "Yes Alistair, just like that".

He felt so unholy while he continued to slide his finger in and out of the wonderfully tight, and warm, soaking, entrance into her body. How could this feel so good? His own body was screaming for more, but the noises his elf was making made it impossible to stop. He could see that she was experiencing pleasure caused by his movements, and he felt his own body responding in turn.

"I want you" He managed to grunt, "I need you now".

She smiled and shifted up away from his fingers, now wet with her juices. She sat back up and kissed deeply, with more enthusiasm before, clearly completely reeling from what he had just done to her.

"I think we should do it like this" she said, breaking the kiss. "I've never done this with a human before, and it's going to have to be slow at first – while I get used to your… size".

Hearing her talk lustfully about his member made him blush, but made him want her even more. Now that he knew what she felt like inside – he couldn't think of anything except to feel her tight around him, engulfing him completely.

She untied the laces of his breeches and with her small, delicate hands, reached inside and manipulated his extremely erect penis so it could stand freely.

"Maker, Alistair, you are bigger than I expected. We'll have to go very slowly at first."

Alistair wasn't hearing her, though, for all he could focus on was the glorious feeling of her warm hand gripping him, pumping him slowly up and down. He moaned as she continued this motion, and was barely able to respond to the kiss she started up again. She was kissing deep and rhythmically, pumping his penis as she probed his mouth with her tongue. He was going mad, trying to resist the urge to spend himself right then – but he fought against it and was relieved when she pulled away, gasping.

She repositioned herself so she could lift herself over his now throbbing cock, teasing him with the heat of her body. While she was elevated over him, he looked straight into her eyes and saw his own fire reflected back. This was life, he knew. This was why he would keep going, fighting every day was purpose. Yes there was desire -_so_ much desire- but it was more profound, he knew. It was a way to remain whole… to avoid the tainted world forced upon him.

Never breaking her gaze, she slowly lowered herself onto him. There was warmth on the tip of his member – warmth which produced a sensibility so strong that he had to grunt and clench his fists to stop himself from plunging in deeper. _Slowly_.

She gasped throatily – he knew that this had to hurt her because he could feel her skin stretching around him as he pushed slowly into her. But her gasp had need laced in with the strain.

"Maker, my darling" Alistair groaned, as he waited to let her adjust to his the most recent inch, "I never knew this could feel so good. Let's never stop." He kissed her, wanting to be more in her body; he enmeshed his fingers once more in her hair and pulled as he thrust his tongue in and out – he could feel her get wetter around his cock and he pushed up more, finding little resistance. She let herself be completely sheathed by him, and before he could truly absorb how profanely satisfying it felt, she had pulled up again, causing a surge of pleasure on his member. She lowered herself, then rocked her hips slightly, drawing him out before once more being immersed into that warm, tight paradise. He took her lead and thrust his own hips up to accommodate her own movements. His mind went blank, his senses were on fire. How could such a little person ignite so much fire in him?

With every thrust upwards he felt the intoxicating warmth spread from his member to his entire abdomen, up through his chest. His nipples were unbearably sensitive as they brushed her bosom. His body was pulsating, blazing. He grabbed her arse, and squeezed, satisfied with the substantial amount of muscle he could fit in one hand. He quickly discovered that he could control her movements by gripping her and almost lifting her up and down on his shaft. He couldn't help himself - he moved more quickly, lifting his hips as he pulled her down onto him. Her breath hitched in her throat every time he plunged in and she moaned into his mouth. It fueled him go faster, thrusting hard into her wonderfully wet pussy – all the while plunging his tongue into her mouth ferociously, wanting to feel more of her. He knew he was close, his breath was quickening, his blood surging. He didn't know how much longer he could go before he would expel himself into her.

He didn't want it to be over –with a guttural groan he thrust in deep and stayed, lodged deep, completely submerged in her body. She moaned in his mouth and kissed him deeply, hands in his hair, pulling, as she darted her tongue in his mouth, nibbling lower lip. She started to circle her hips – he could feel her contracting around him and maker, it felt good. He was aware of each subtle action on his shaft – clenching, releasing. He flexed up and she grunted – he flexed again, knowing he was doing something right. She started moving more rhythmically, grinding on him as she continued to probe his mouth and grip his hair. She moved one hand away from his head, and brought in front of her. She was touching herself, he could feel her arm muscles contract as she moved her hand over herself. It was intoxicating to think about and Alistair was once more reaching the point of no return as he felt her contract once more around him. He was throbbing, she soaking wet, she was rubbing herself rapidly. He wanted more – he took one hand from her muscular arse and squeezed her breast, flicking his thumb over her nipple. She gasped his name pulling away, her cheeks so flush.

"I'm going to – " she gasped, but his mouth was over hers again as he pumped into her while she tightly squeezed around him. She was so tight – he was on the edge - she moaned in his mouth as he squeezed her breast, and he felt a wave of intense pleasure sweep over his body as he surged into her, grunting. His eyes were watering, his face was flush as he kept thrusting, riding the wave of his euphoric climax. She was still contracting around him as she bucked her hips, she felt burning to the touch, despite the chilling air. They were both dripping with sweat and she collapsed against him, breathless. He felt her weakly kiss the shoulder she had rested her face on.

He held her close, aware that he was still inside her body. His skin was buzzing, he wanted to never let her go, and he squeezed her tight. He stroked her hair which was dampened with sweat. The breeze was refreshing on his face.

They stayed there, holding each other. The moment was pure – unbroken by fear.

"I love you, Alistair," she murmured, almost inaudibly.

He smiled, feeling a different kind of warmth spread through his body. He wanted to protect her and cherish her like this, forever. But the small woman he held in his arms was far more capable than he. He let himself drift down to reality as he considered what the next day would bring. They should get their rest, but he didn't want to let go.

"I was serious about what I had said before," said Alistair, awkwardly shifting her weight off of him so he pull out and tuck himself back into his breeches. She giggled and blushed as she shifted her skirt.

"I can't quite recall what that was," she said, grinning.

Alistair chuckled as well, fully back to real life now.

"I _do_ want to spend the night with you," he finished "I want you to share my tent. Or yours, if you like." He was exhausted but his mind was already musing what it would feel like to be on top of her, looking down at her watching her breasts bounce as he thrust into her…

"People will talk".

"I think that they will have figured it out, my rose, we weren't exactly whispering sweet nothings in our moment of ecstasy."

"Aha, Alistair! So it was worth an eternal afterlife of damnation?"

"Don't be smug, my halfpint," Alistair laughed as he stood up, wrapping her legs around his waist. "I think that it was I who earned the right to brag. I lasted long enough to make you melt in my hands, murmuring my name – you sultry little thing."

"I did no such thing, and I'll have you kn-" but he kissed her as he walked over to his tent, not interested in playful abasements tonight. Tonight was for love. Tonight was to remind himself what it felt like to be alive.


End file.
